What a Christmas!!

Christmas crept up on me this year, although I tried to make the most of it. This year was X's first Christmas. We did a picture with Santa last Sunday evening at the mall. That was a huge mistake. The picture turned out great, however, the three-hour journey to take said picture was not. The parking lot was jam packed and the line for Santa swirled around the ice rink.

I decided to break off and go do some Christmas shopping. I went in to Macy's to buy perfume and cologne for Mom and Arfeo. The down escalator was broken and the technician had it closed off for repairs. So, I had to wait in a 30 minute line to ride the elevator to the first floor. I then decided to get some Starbuck's for A and I for while we waited in the Santa line. The line at Starbuck's took another 30 minutes.

By the time my little adventure was over, X was second in line to see Santa. I had gotten back in the nick of time. X was apparently very good the whole time. He didn't fuss, cry or scream. He was asleep and we had to wake him up to see Santa. In his picture he has a grumpy, just woke up face. It's really cute.

I sent out Christmas cards, made my traditional Christmas cookies and went overboard buying X Christmas presents.

Watching X look at his stocking and presents was so sweet. I couldn't help but think of future Christmases and how excited he will be on Christmas morning, wondering if he will still have that look of awe and wonder in his eyes.

We opened X's gifts at our apartment, then went over to my parents for the big family Christmas. I am so glad my grandparents made it. They have been in poor health in recent months and we didn't think they would be healthy enough to join the festivities.

I'm a little sad Christmas is over. But, maybe that is just part of growing up and becoming a parent. The excitement of Christmas morning is now lived vicariously through your children. It is no longer about you and tangible presents, but more about the emotional presents that you get from watching your little one light up when he sees his stocking or receives his first Christmas gift. I know I'm going to have so much fun in the coming years making Christmas time magical for my kiddos. *sigh*. I guess I am also a little sad because I know X will never be this tiny again. Next Christmas he will be toddling around and getting into things, and I know I am going to miss the innocence that he has now.

I have definitely learned to make the most of every little situation. I take pictures of this littlest things that X does. The little moments that I know I will never capture again. I have I don't know how many pictures of X trying to flop over on his tummy. I think A and I are doing a good job of documenting the little one.

On a lighter note, I went through my closet today and discovered that I can wear my pre-pregnancy dress slacks!! So, I don't have to buy anymore new pants!! I'll get to spend my gift card on something more exciting!! A new pair of boots.. and maybe a cute purse!!

Whirlwind 2 weeks...

Well...I thought being a new mom was difficult... I think being a working mom has been the most challenging thing yet.

I've been at my new job now for two weeks. MUD law is finally starting to make sense. I still get down on myself because I feel like I should know everything already at this point in time. My co-workers tell me not to do that to myself, but that's just who I am.

We are finally starting to get into a routine at home which is helping the whole working process become a bit easier to handle. As hard as it will be, I am going to have to learn to let my house get messy during the week and let chores go until the weekend, or else I just might burn out.

I am getting more comfortable with X's daycare situation, so I'm not worrying about him like I did last week. His teacher is wonderful and has been in childcare for 20 years. His daycare is costing an arm and a leg, but it's worth it to know he is in good hands. Plus, he is just down the street from my office!

I'm exhausted, but I have energy at the same time. Exhaustion means I'm working hard. Maybe motivated is a more fitting word.

After just two days last week, I wanted to quit and come back home and be with X, but I have to keep going, despite the obstacles that will inevitably be thrown in front of me. We are digging ourselves out of the massive hole we have fallen into with this job, and will be able to finally start achieving our dreams.

I'm surprised at how non-social I'm feeling. I guess I've been so used to baby babble that I forgot how to have adult interaction. The people at work are so friendly, but I just can't seem to take advantage of it right now. Maybe with time things will get better.

I hope time is all I need.

In baby news... X started pushing up on his tummy. It's too precious! Christmas is just 6 days away!!

Week 2....

Week 2 has come to a close.... I've been super busy... will post more thoughts later...

New Beginnings....Old memories....

Today marked some new beginnings.

The first being that I got a job offer! I accepted but I have not heard back from the recruiter on whether this is a done deal or not.

If I did get this job, I would start December 8th. It's just 20 minutes away in the Galleria and I don't even have to get on a freeway. Plus, there is a daycare not far from the building, so I may enroll X there so I can go visit him during lunch hour.

Secondly, I put all of X's 4 ounce baby bottles away. Since he eats at least 6 ounces at every feed, obviously the 4 ounce bottles don't get the job done anymore. I broke out the new bottles, washed and boiled them. Unfortunately, I got side-tracked and melted three of the bottles while sterilizing them. boo.

I can't help but have little flash back to those middle of the night feeds in the very first week when I had to supplement with formula. Fumbling around in the kitchen at 3 a.m. trying to measure out formula and get the temperature of the milk just right.

I have started putting a lot of X's clothes into a pile for the "Next One". I shudder at the thought of having another munchkin to take care of, but one day, we will.

I am excited about the new job and finally getting back on the road to saving for a home and a new car. It just breaks my heart thinking about daycare.

I can get through this though. Just have to be a tough cookie for a while.

Bath Time Confusion...

So I aim to give X a bath three times a week. Tonight was bath night. X freaks out if we get him anywhere near the bath tub. We've tried everything, singing silly bath time songs, slowly introducing him to the water, covering him up partially and bathing him bit by bit. Nothing has worked. He freaks out every time.

Tonight, I sat him in his tub and I started wiping his face. He looked at me with huge eyes and started giggling and laughing! I was elated! This was the moment I have always read about in books. Mom and baby enjoy bath time and it's a total mushy bonding experience and baby has fun splashing around. X and I laughed and giggled back and forth to each other. "Yes! We are making headway! He is having fun." I thought.

I then started lathering up X's top half. He giggled some more, then I noticed his eyes start to get teary. The little giggles slowly turned into what sounded like nervous laughter. He was quiet for a few seconds then let out a shrill cry.

Poor thing, he was so confused. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Needless to say, X cried for the remainder of the bath and towards the end A had to come in and help me because he started to squirm around too much.

I don't know what to do about this bath time thing. When the bewitching hour comes around, I get all antsy. I dread the 5 minutes of screaming, but I can't not give him a bath. That's bordering on neglect. I can't help but have visions of X when he is 5, 10 or 15 years old and still dreads bath time. He would prefer to be dirty than get in that awful tub and we argue about it.

*le sigh* ....children.....

New skills and new problems....

X practiced how to reach and grab for things today. He has started holding his hands up in front of his face, clasping them together, studying them and then squealing. It's extremely cute. I dangled a rattle in front of his face, and he reached up and out and grabbed onto it! He then tugged on it and buried his little face it. Also extremly cute. He has also started laughing on a consistent basis. When I make an oinking sound, he goes crazy. He gets a huge kick out it.

I suppose with all new progressions, there has to come a regression. Bath time has gotten increasingly painful for all of us. X hates his baby bath tub. A and I have to hold him down while he squirms and screams at the top of his lungs to try and get out. I just don't know why he hates bath time so much. He used to like it. I'm trying to rack my brain to see if there was something we did last time that might have traumatized him, but I can't think of anything. I hope this is just a phase and he will grow out of it. I don't know how many more screaming bath times I can take.

Also, we can't seem to get nap time down either. I'd like X to be a little more predictable with napping, but he falls asleep for random amounts of time during the day. There is no pattern to it.

Little one is going to drive me crazy!!

Happiness.....

X has started laughing and cooing more. We've started practicing how to sit up on the couch. He is doing so well. He can sit for 15 seconds with his back and head straight. All I have to do is hold his hands. Whenever he sits up, his eyes light up and he starts cooing really loudly and squealing with delight as he looks around. Sometimes he gets so excited, that he starts crying. There are so many new vantage points when you are itty bitty and you are viewing them for the first time.

I wish I could be that happy all of time. Every time I looked at something I would feel extremely excited, it would be like looking at it for the first time. I wish I could go back to that innocence. When I didn't know about hatred, bills, economic problems or how crappy life can be at times.

I can't wait to watch X explore the world and learn. To see him light up and know that he is truly happy.

Happiness is a baby boy.