Bedrest..... venting...

I am having a true battle with myself.

My doctor wants me on bedrest to prevent me from going into premature labor. That is all well and good, but I have felt perfectly fine. 

There is no scientific evidence that supports bedrest and its' effects on premature labor.  No one knows if it truly works. 

Doctors claim that it reduces pressure on your cervix and helps lower your blood pressure, and helps you relax.

This is what I have to say about that....

1) Since I have been on bedrest, my body has been killing me. While I get up and try to stretch to prevent my legs from cramping, it happens anyway. Laying down all day is hurting my back and my hips from pressure. My legs and arms fall asleep.

2) Bedrest so far, has NOT reduced my blood pressure. If anything, it has shot through the roof.  Because of this "bedrest", I can not work. I can't work, so bills are not getting paid. As of right now, if I do not go back to work within 3 weeks of my having the baby, we are going to be seriously in the red. I can't take it easy knowing that. I can't take it easy knowing that I can't support myself and my husband. He works his ass off all day and gets paid nearly nothing for it (yes, he is an attorney, but a POORLY paid one for the work he does) It scares me to death thinking about what is going to happen to us in just a month or two. I wake up early and stay up late at night looking for a job that I can do while I am home with the baby, but everything is a freakin' scam. So far, bedrest has not helped my health. 

It is taking everything I have not to call my temp agencies and have them put me back on their job lists. 

So, let's say I have the baby and then decide to return to work. How will I pay for child care? 

Our credit is shot. We have no available room on our cards. 

We are in a bind, and I am so extremely frustrated that I can not work right now because my doctor says I can't and that I may have the baby in a couple of weeks. How am I going to take care of this child.....

uuuuurgggh...

Little Tickler...

Ok, so I am watching this little lump (probably a foot or hand) poke out the side of my abdomen right now. I've pushed on it and it won't go down. It's been hanging out for a while and is starting to tickle! hah!

He's playing games with me. Silly monster. 

Insatiable itches....

This bedrest thing is so annoying. 

Although I feel fine, no cramps, no pain, no signs of labor yet, I still have to stay in bed or on the couch.

It is so frustrating because I have so much I need and want to do. Laundry, errands outside of the house, doing dishes, lifting things in the baby's room. Getting all of the baby's stuff ready.

I also wanted to go to Austin and Galveston this month, just to relax a couple more times before the little guy comes. Unfortunately, I don't think that is going to happen. 

My doctor thinks the little guy could decide to come at any time between now and August 18. We are trying to stave out his arrival as long as we can, but you can never be too certain what baby's will do.

must....do....something....

Seriously???

Ok, so contractions are still coming and going....propping myself up on a pillow seems to be bringing some relief for now. Hmmm... who shall I call if it goes down... A is in Austin until Saturday morning for a wedding, family and friends are across town...hmmm..

Part of me wants to just go to the hospital and get the little guy out already and be done with this seemingly endless guessing game, and part of me is scared to death that if he comes now, he will be sick or have other problems, and plus, I am just not ready to have a son 6 weeks ahead of schedule, no sirrreeeee...

The human body is an odd, odd thing. There are so many guidelines in books and websites about how to time contractions, what is considered "false" and what is considered "true" labor...oh but wait, if you are at risk for pre-term birth, then you have to follow this whole different set of guidelines that is kinda similar to "false" labor, but it really just boils down to instinct and "knowing" when its time. There are no clear cut lines at all. I think despite the mountains of literature on labor and childbirth, no one knows what the heck really goes on, they just pretend to know just to make a buck or two. 

ok, going to try to go back to sleep. Happy 4th of July everyone! I'll be laying in bed while everyone is enjoying their BBQ and fireworks displays! Light a sparkler for me! 

My anxious little one....

Ever since my stint in the hospital back in April, I never thought that I would end up there again. 

Much to my surprise, I went in to my normal check up on Tuesday and ended up getting sent down to labor & delivery. My doctor told me that I was one centimeter dilated, and 60% effaced. In plain language, that is a sign of pre-term labor and that baby might be on its way. Those two things plus another couple of signs that I was exhibiting got me sent to the hospital. 

It was quite frightening because I hadn't felt A THING. No pain, no cramping. Just a normal Tuesday for me. 

So,  I get sent in to the hospital and I got all hooked up to all sorts of monitors and things. A came in and stayed with me through the evening, then my parents came over and brought me magazines and stayed with me for a bit. 

I was so restless while I was there. I was having contractions all day, but they were variable and they didn't seem to concern my doctor or the nurses.  My doctor told me that I would probably be discharged in the morning once they have time to monitor me overnight.

Well,  I couldn't sleep. The chick in the room next to me kept coughing and getting sick and yelling and screaming.... I guess she was going in to labor... I dunno... so that kept me up. 

I also realized that I had cable TV in my room so I was fascinated. I don't have cable at home so I probably watched a little more TV than I should have.

Along came midnight and I started feeling really queasy and I started getting intense pains in my lower abdomen. My first thought was, "Well, damn, is this it?" 

I laid down for a bit and drank some water hoping it would subside. It didn't. My nurse came in and told me that I was having contractions EIGHT MINUTES APART and this could possibly be the real thing. 

"Whoa, there" I said, "what do we do next?"

I got a series of shots and pills over the next 6 hours to stop the contractions. This series of medication shot my heart right through my chest and made me so jittery I couldn't sleep. 

I then had a rather terrible and painful blood draw at 4 in the morning by a brand new technician, only to find out a couple hours later that that blood draw had been made by mistake and she shouldn't have taken 6 vials of blood. 

I was finally discharged yesterday afternoon. I was still having contractions apparently, but I couldn't feel them. That made me feel great, not really knowing if it's false or true labor...

Last night about 9 o'clock I thought I was going in to labor again. A just went berserk. I told him to calm down, it probably wasn't the real thing. It just frustrated me so much watching him randomly throw things into a big duffle bag with no real organization to it, like we were about to be hit with a nuclear bomb and had to evacuate.  I called the on-call doctor and he told me to relax and keep drinking water. That eventually calmed things down.

I'm at home now on strict bedrest for the next 2 weeks. When I was on bedrest back in April for just 5 days, I nearly went crazy. 

There are so many things that need to be done and I get so restless wanting to do them. I don't like relying on A or my mom to come help me out. I'd rather do it all myself. 

So, I'll be laying here for the next two weeks, trying to maintain my sanity and hope and pray the little guy doesn't plan on making an appearance anytime between now and then. 

Snausages!

Things have been quite busy around here lately. I've visited every temp agency in town and I finally got placed on two jobs this week. I've also picked up a side transcription project typing up interviews for a research study at A&M. I'm still working on putting my business together too! That isn't coming along quite like I hoped it would. It will get there eventually. Too many snags in the fabric of my current plan. 

 A and I bought a couple of pieces of furniture last weekend and spent all weekend putting them together to make our apartment more liveable since we don't have cable. Yay for 4 channels! It hasn't been too bad, though. It has forced us to get out of the apartment on weekends and find other ways to amuse ourselves. I haven't watched TV in 4 days and I don't feel like I've missed out on anything! 

Now that we are finally getting settled into Houston and our apartment, things in the baby department have been moving along quite quickly. No, I haven't had the little guy yet, although there are some moments when I swear he will be making an appearance. I had a baby shower last weekend at KH's house! She did SUCH a good job! Everything was just adorable! So many people showed up and I was just so happy that all of my favorite people could share in this special time in my life. CC baked an awesome cake which was sooooo good. I was bad and had two pieces....oooops! 

We also took our baby CPR class and maternity ward tour. A was surprisingly really in to the CPR. I'm glad he took it seriously. At least I know our little one will be taken care of if God forbid anything happens. There were two women in the class with us that had little ones. An 11 month old, and a 22 month old. Hearing about the little inconspicous things that end up in the babies' mouths was a real eye opener. I had no idea that little ones could pry the rubber pads off of door stoppers and eat them! That class definitely made me want to baby proof the crap out of our apartment. But, little ones still find ways to get around all of the obstacles put in their way. 

I feel great for being late third trimester, however, my poor footsies are all swollen up! They are like puffy sausages! I can't get any relief either. My shoes kill me. Sitting for too long hurts, standing for too long hurts. There is no happy medium. I should invent a pair of shoes for pregnant women that have cooling gel wraps that surround your foot, so the swelling decreases and your foot stays cool. Man, that would be awesome!

53 days left in my pregnancy. I can't believe it. I am going to be responsible for another human's life in 53 short days. My free days of doing what I wanted when I wanted with who I wanted are just about over. Want to go run out for coffee? Nope. Gotta get a sitter. Want to stay out all night at a bar or club? Nope. I've got a little one at home that needs a bedtime story and a bottle. I'm sure I will still have some sort of social life, but this might just knock the wind out of my social sails. I can do this, I can do this! My mantra for the next 18+ years. I can do this, I can be a capable mother.... eeekkk... the dreaded "M" word.....

A New Adventure....

We made it to Houston! Despite the fact that I have a terrible sinus infection and the worst muscle cramps ever, we are finally settled in!

A and I packed up the Dallas apartment on Thursday morning and drove in to Houston Thursday night. Then first thing Friday morning we got up and moved into our new apartment.

The apartment is awesome!! There is soooooo much room. So much so that we have a lot of empty space that we don't know what to do with!!

Today A's family came over to help unpack and my mom and brother came over. In two hours we cleared out 90 percent of the boxes. The few things that we have left to do are to put a few decorations on the walls, buy linens and decorations for the second bathroom, and put the baby's room together. I need to buy a nice cupboard for our bar items and we might even get a new couch and coffee table! Something that doesn't look like it came out of a college dorm room! ha! 

I'm so glad everyone came in to help! I don't think we could have done it without them. 

After we unpacked all the boxes, we went over to the pool and hung out for a while. 

I think we are both going to enjoy living in Houston. Lots of new opportunities and adventures to be had. 

We'll be starting a family, meeting new friends, beginning new careers (hopefully)..... 

Tomorrow mom is taking me shopping for stuff for the apartment and more maternity clothes. My shirts are getting too short!!

What a busy few days, but we made it all in one piece!