One of these feet is not like the other...

So, I was putting my shoes on this past Sunday to get ready to run errands. I noticed my left shoe fit a little tight. I have little velcro strips on my shoes. I thought, maybe the velcro is just worn..... nope. The left shoe wouldn't velcro closed!! My foot is swollen! I read up on this and this is a common occurrence in pregnancy. Your feet get swollen and grow bigger! Guess I'll need to add shoes to my long maternity shopping list. ha! 

My baby loves to dance!!

Today I went in for another sonogram. The little peanut is no more! It's squatty and fat and it has little hands and feet buds!! It's the cutest thing!! My doctor focused on the baby. All of the sudden, the baby started to jolt and wiggle its bottom and move its little hands! My doctor was like "OH look!!! The little one is dancing and showing off, it knows that we're watching." I was just beaming. I wish I could have recorded that quick 5 seconds. It was the most amazing thing ever. There really is life inside of me. He or she is going to love to dance, just like their mommy and daddy. =)

 I've found while I'm getting my appetite back, I'm starting to not like some foods that I used to be able to eat. I can't eat lunchmeat or yogurt!  I'm also a little worried, because I'm not gaining any weight at all. I've actually lost 2 pounds. I sure hope I can gain enough to keep myself and the little one healthy. 

My doctor also gave me a run down on labor and delivery and cord blood donation. It is so expensive. That has been such a controversial issue. I have to really think about this one. It's amazing how many things you have to start thinking of when you have a baby. 

How will I pay for child care and health care. Who will take the child if me and my husband suddenly pass away. Do we bank cord blood so that if this child or future children get a diesease, it can possibly save their lives? Do I consent to a blood transfusion if needed? How will I pay for its needs and college? 

There is so much to think about. SO much to do.  So much paperwork.

Nine Weeks and a zombie

So, let me just start off by saying, I am SOOOOO frikkin tired. It is 5:30 pm and I think I have been asleep off and on since noon today. 

I had so many things I wanted to do this weekend, but I had zero energy. I was craving a McFlurry, so I was able to muster the energy to drive down the street and get one. I quickly ate it, and then fell asleep.....

Now, I'm on the couch, watching the Cowboys, and dozing off. 

I have never been one for daytime naps, so this is just insane. My body does not operate after midday naps. 

I can't sleep at night because my back or boobs hurt and I can't get comfortable. I've tried sleeping on my left side with a pillow between my legs, but the pillow quickly ends up on the other side of the room on the floor. A has even started sleeping on the couch in the living room because I apparently keep him up and night with my tossing and turning, and talking in my sleep.  It's slowly turning him in to a non-productive zombie.

I've become a zombie at work. I'm so afraid my boss is going to fire me because I wander through the day in a sleepy, grouchy, haze. My job requires me to be sharp every second of the day, and my edge is definitely dulling. My boss is definitely taking notice....

I've been reading that in the second trimester you have a lot more energy. Boy I sure hope so. 

I have no clue how I'm going to survive when we have the baby. Then I REALLY won't be able to sleep. 

yargh....enough complaining...back to sleep...

Random

I'm excited to be a mommy... I want a vanilla cupcake with pink icing and confetti sprinkles.... that is all....

Eight weeks

At the request of one of my friends, I've decided to start a baby blog. I think this is going to be good. This will be a chronicle of the crazy emotions and changes going on inside and around me for months and maybe years to come! 

So, how did it all begin.... you think.... well... duh... lemme think...I think we all know that answer. ha!

This journey began on Saturday December 29th....

A (my husband) and I were on our way back home from visiting family in Houston. All week in Houston I had terrible heartburn and indigestion... I just chalked it up to all the food I ate while at home. Who doesn't love to stuff themselves at the holidays?

Well, on Saturday night, I decided I would get a pregnancy test the next day. So, on Sunday, I bought a test, but A and I were convinced that we weren't pregnant and maybe there was something else wrong with me. So, I quickly took the test, thinking it would just give me piece of mind and I would be able to tell my doctor that "well at least I'm not pregnant"..... 

My life changed in the blink of an eye....literally.... These birth control packages tell you that you have three minutes..... three minutes to ponder the options and sit balled up on the bed and cry and wonder 'what if'. But, No, it flashed PREGNANT...immediately....I had no time to think...

I remember sucking in my breath at that then frightful word...and wondering if it was false... maybe I did the test wrong. I slowly covered the test, walked out of the bathroom,  walked over to A and crawled into his lap... I looked him in the eyes, and barely muttered "We're pregnant." I began to sob and my biggest fears at that moment came to fruition. My hubby said, "Sweetie that is the best news I could have ever heard!" You would think hearing your significant other saying this would bring comfort, but instead it brought more tears and sobbing and screaming. 

I finally calmed myself, and decided to take the pregnancy test again. Maybe it was a false positive. Sure enough, it was positive. Very positive.

I walked back in the living room, and took my husband's hand. I asked "What do we do now?"

The next morning, we went and saw my doctor. The doctor performed the sonogram and then she turned the screen to A and said, "There it is!" A got teary-eyed and looked and me and said "That's my baby." The doctor then smiled and turned the screen to me. There in the middle of the screen was a small tadpole like being with a flashing light in the middle of it. I asked what that light was. My doctor said, "That's your baby's heartbeat." I nearly lost it because I swelled with pride. 

It was at that moment that my thoughts changed from, "what bars am I going to hang out at this weekend in Austin and oooh, I wonder if I can get that cute top I saw at the mall this weekend"... to "what does my baby need, what can I do to ensure a good future for it?"

It is amazing, how quickly the mind changes when something like this happens. That was all the convincing I needed. That little heartbeat. Like the baby was saying, "Hi Mom and Dad, I'll see you soon, take care of me, please." 

We got finished at the doctor's and decided to start calling family and friends. We called the parents. A's parents were screaming and so happy, mine were silent and in shock. I imagine they just didn't know what to think. How would you react if your daughter told you she was pregnant at age 24? 

We decided to have a celebratory lunch at Chick-Fil-A. We failed to remember, though, that during lunch hour, all the mothers bring their babies and children to this particular location for play dates and lunch. As we walked in, it was just a barrage of screaming babies, children running in between tables and chairs as brightly colored balloons trailed behind them, defiant two-year olds that just want to go out and play and cry because they were told to "sit and eat your lunch first", and... mommy gossip.... I said "I can't do this. I'm just not ready." 

This will be me in just a year or two. Chick-Fil-A symbolized everything about early motherhood in one small space. Play dates, screaming, defiance, gossip... eek.....a place I regularly and happily dined at, now gives me a huge lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach.

Today, its much better. I had a brief but wonderful visit with KS and KT in Austin. I'm glad I decided to go and visit and didn't let queasiness stop me. 

I realized that I am going to make it through this, because I have wonderful, loving friends and family who are willing to offer support and help if I need it. I just need to reach out instead of holing myself up in my shell when I get stressed. I realized that I can't do that anymore. Not if I want to maintain my sanity.

I'm going to be OK. This is going to be great. Until the next rumble.....